#610B0B

[bisection]

[color]

I have no idea what to do with myself without him.

Just a few days and I feel completely helpless. I thought he was the one clinging, but I am the one who is clinging, right? But he is like this now and I do not even know how to take care of his pets while I wait.

I have fed them but what else do these chicken things need? Food, water, warmth... what else? Am I doing this right? I have no idea.

I hope he is normal again soon. I can't take this. Maybe my wish backfired. My bad luck again, I guess.

Comments

[queenofminiskirts]

But they wouldn't want that. As much as we want to protect them, they want to stop us from making those choices for their sake.

And it's not always the only way you know? Sometimes, we're just so scared to lose them that we can't think straight.

[bisection]

Then, aren't they being just as selfish as we are?

[ He looks ahead and lets out a small, audible breath. ]

Do you think people like us are wrong, Kaoru? For feeling the way we do... acting the way we do. I know, if I were in your position, I would have done exactly the same.

[queenofminiskirts]

Maybe.

[She can't deny that...after all, protecting someone else...was in its own way selfish and willful. But that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

...was it wrong? Something like that was a difficult question to answer. Because it's far morec complicated than that. Even so...]

No. I don't think so. But...it's true that these feelings, this way of seeing the world, definitely didn't come somewhere healthy.

People aren't meant to live alone. We want to be loved and love others...we need that kind of human connection. When we're denied that, when we're hurt or rejected by the world...isn't it natural, to cling onto the few people that give us that? That make us feel like...even for someone like us, there's someone who will hold our hand and not let go?

But...[She turns a little, reaches out to touch a hand to his cheek.] Because it comes from an unhealthy place, that way of thinking isn't good for us. When we say, 'I'd give up the world for this person. I'd sacrifice anyone and anything' isn't that just another way to keep rejecting the world and everyone else in it? Aren't we just afraid to put our trust into the people we care about in case they might leave us behind? If we keep doing that, then we won't just become unable to accept ourselves?

[bisection]

[ He stays quiet so he can really hear her. This has been one of those things that just troubled him to the core. He has no sense of boundaries. He doesn't know how to limit himself. At what point does responsibility stop and obsessiveness start?

He wants to be good. He wants to be a brother Dextera can rely on. He just doesn't know how.

Sinistra looks down at his feet when her hand touches his face. ]

Then what do we do? When it's like this, I feel so lost. He learned to live without me, but I have never lived without him. I try to tell him 'we are two people and always were', but when he's gone, I understand. It feels like my heart stopped beating. It feels like a part is missing and it aches. But, I know he can't fulfill that part of me, just like I cannot fulfill the part of him that feels missing.

I never really got to live, so I can't see what I need to do to be okay without him... I can't see it at all.

[queenofminiskirts]

[She knows that...it was easier for her because the three of them had had to learn together. There hadn't been that gap Dex and Sinistra had before they met up again.

All the same though.]

Just remember these things.

First, you need to remember that he's got a head start. Don't compare yourself with where he is because he's had more time to learn than you.

[She doesn't take her hand away. Instead, since he wasn't pulling away she presses her palm to his cheek.] And remember, you've already taken the first step. Deciding to become someone different, someone stronger, that's the most important step. Without it, you can't do anything at all.

And, remember: it's okay to feel lost. It's okay to feel like you don't know what you're doing and it's okay to make mistakes. Everyday we spend living, every time we meet someone new or try something different, we're growing. It may not seem like much at first, but day by day, by continuing to struggle we slowly become someone different.

Look! [She only takes her hand back to gesture at the chickens.] When you first came here...you wouldn't have known how to take care of them, right? Isn't that already a move towards becoming someone who can take care of others? And you're sitting here listening to me talk...and telling me all these things that upset you, that you're unsure about...is that really something the old you would be able to do?

Maybe neither of us are where we want to be yet...but we'll get there. I'm sure of it.