#871306

[trident]

is everyone so formal here?

most of these look like carefully penned letters
almost charming

my name is hawke
& i must ask two very important questions

1 who has playing cards and knows how to use them
2 do any of you know how to make alcohol

Comments

[espritdecorpse]

why do you ask?

[ what.......has Lan Wangji been telling people? ]

[queenofminiskirts]

you're the only one bullying him.

[And Shiho...and Kaoru does too, but like. The two of them are notorious bullies so she doesn't think that counts.]

you're the one who said you guys are like childhood friends. and he clearly cares about you. at least let him know where you're going so he doesn't think you disappeared into imaginary space or something!

[espritdecorpse]

I'm kidding! Don't get upset. You of all people should know better than to take me seriously! I'm not going home with him! I'm not going home with anyone! I've got a nice little friend to go home to. Noisy, a bit stubborn, but warm. Able to support me!

[queenofminiskirts]

i'm not upset. i just worry about both of you because you're both idiots who don't take care of themselves properly.

[And yes, she just called the esteemed Hanguang-Jun an idiot.]

anyway, if you're not going with him then are you just playing with sensei's poor, old man heart? is this also a type of bullying? if you make him cry i'll make you sorry.

and which friend is this?

[espritdecorpse]

Heyyyyyy don't group me with him! I'm not an old man, I can take care of myself just fine!
As for his offer, we were at a party. He was drunk!

[ probably ]

He doesn't even remember. There's no way he'll cry. If he does, I promise I'll kiss him until he stops!

[ no bromo? ]

[queenofminiskirts]

you realize i mean you and lan wangji, right? you two are the same age.

[Now she's covered both 'he thinks I mean him and sensei' as well as 'he's actually calling Lan Wangji an old man.]

though i guess i could have made it more clear by saying all three of you are idiots who don't take care of themselves.

and i see you don't plan to give up your life as a kiss scammer. gross

[espritdecorpse]

Not all kisses are scams! I’d kiss him honestly, to make him feel better! Actually, “better” probably isn’t the word. I’d kiss him until he forgets about being sad, because he’s too embarrassed!

[queenofminiskirts]

[...]

tell me honestly, do you have a crush? is this why you're bullying him?

[espritdecorpse]

Oh no, my secret has been revealed. Yes, I’ve been pining for him all this time. That’s why I dreamed up the frogitis prank in the first place. Alas, even after a month of tasting my lips, his heart remained obdurate.

[queenofminiskirts]

only toddlers show affection through bullying.

and if someone sees this and decides to plan another wedding for you, you'll have no one to blame but yourself.

1/2

[espritdecorpse]

[ aaaaaaaaaaaaa




that's a sore subject in so many ways.......... ]

[espritdecorpse]

[ ........so he's gonna go whole ham: ]

Would that be so terrible? He's tall and good-looking.
Calm temper, excellent cultivation. He probably won't look as nice in a wedding dress as Xie Lian did, but nobody's perfect!

THAT IS THE FUCK IT!!!!!! GODDAMNITT!!!

[shizun]

It seems writing sentences was not enough punishment for you, Wei Wuxian.

[alittlespicy]

It rarely is.

[shizun]

Then this teacher will have to think of something else.

[alittlespicy]

Changing him is not necessarily a good thing.

[shizun]

I am not so a benevolent person that will allow someone to ruin my face in public so brazenly.

Kaoru Akashi will join him in whatever punishment I decide. [ HEAR THAT?! ]

[queenofminiskirts]

[Oops. There he is.]

it's not my fault. i was misled!

[BY WHO?!]

[espritdecorpse]

[ This exchange.... it's the first actual belly laugh he's enjoyed in ages. ]

A-Qiu, don't be mad! I was just kidding!




I think you'll look GREAT in a wedding dress!

[shizun]

I am mad.

You seem to not understand me at all, Wei Wuxian.

[ He is going to reclaim his face if he has to pull it out of the dirt and wash it himself!! He's a cold, untouchable immortal! Also you fucking promised you were coming back to his world! SO FUCK YOU, YOU'RE COMING! Grrr!!! ]

[queenofminiskirts]

look at what you've done.

[Look, she's not going to throw you under the bus in front of Shen Qingqiu but she is going to let you know this is really all your fault.]

[espritdecorpse]

[ you know what's great about this medium? ]

You! Got! In! Trouble!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

[ no one can see the actual expression on your face. ]

[queenofminiskirts]

SO DID YOU!

[espritdecorpse]

That's nothing new! I'm always in trouble!

[shizun]

[ I AM A GROWN-ASS MAN!!! I AM NOT BEING BULLIED!! Who thinks this!! I have a lot of things to say to Wifi! But this is too embarrassing! GIVE ME SOME FACE HERE, YOU TWO!!!! ]