USER: #E00707 - mr fs true identity

[parodeity]

[ USER: #E00707 in this lovely color ]

great news guys i cracked the code
i have figured out mr fs secret identity after months of painstaking sherlock holmesing it up
please follow for sweet sleuth skills and mystery rundowns
are you ready to see the face of our captor
here is my artistic rendition because idk how to upload pictures onto this piece of crap laptop



yeah you heard me
im onto you sammy boy
how did i reach this conclusion you ask
ok so
you know how we know its december
probably half of you do half of you dont
whats december at least one person probably asks
anyway its a month on lots of earths
probably not all of them but most
we know its december because the weather matches and the quests are matching december holidays
or ONE december holiday
october was pumpkin and costumes month
november had the thankful quest
so this is december

and it hit me
mr f is probably american
thanksgiving isnt held worldwide its what
america canada liberia i think and like one island near australia or smth
and canada holds it in october because
i dont know theyre canada they put milk in bags and then buy jugs to stand the bags in separately
instead of just putting their milk in plastic jugs to start with like normal goddamned people
but thats not the point
the point is obviously that narrows it down
to i guess america and liberia
but i dont know anyone from liberia
so i discounted liberia
liberia doesnt look like a word now
and anyway all the holidays these quests are celebrating?
american
we can also conclude hes christian because christmas
even though its hanukkah month also
and yet we have no hanukkah quests
much like hallmark mr f is ignoring every nonchristian religion
which is a pity bc hallmark could do so much with alternate religion puns
i believe in them
maybe

so anyway the answer was AMERICA
and the first thing i think of when i think america is

well actually its mcdonalds
hang on



so lo and behold i figured him out

in other news the summary of what time travel taught us:
some ppl died on siren island once in a cave (idk what killed them)
and the powers that be do not want me or anyone else to view the Something that made all the districts super separate
because censorship

also in other news
tomorrow i will be the young and sweet dancing queen
in the immortal words of abba
or i assume tomorrow if the first is quest day
december third is my birthday and either way ive been here long enough that chronologically i was seventeen last month
but i figured id wait since we kinda sorta hashed out the months
and anyway i am accepting well wishes and also baked goods
or if you feel like getting me a present
i accept snowballs thrown at john egbert or stuffed down the back of his shirt please and thank you

Comments

#ffff99

[troubadamsel]

[why must you make everything forever difficult]

If I understand this, as best as I can, all of what's happened is something familiar to your realm?

[parodeity]

[ it's part of his charm!!!!! ]

yes
i mean holiday wise yes
what holidays do you have back in ylisse anyway

[troubadamsel]

We do have harvest festivals and days to worship the gods. Nothing quite like what I've seen during my time here.

[parodeity]

huh
so when was your birthday supposed to be

[troubadamsel]

It was back in April. Why do you ask?

[parodeity]

mainly because friends exchange birthday gifts usually

[troubadamsel]

I hardly think that's something to worry about in this sort of place.

[parodeity]

oh come on
dont you like celebrating your birthday
like sure the gifts might not be amazing here but
theyre still fun to exchange

[troubadamsel]

I just don't think there would be much point to it. If death and time mean nothing here, then neither does age - we won't age a day here.

[parodeity]

i mean i think were mentally aging
maybe
doesnt that count for anything

[troubadamsel]

I suppose I can't argue against that. Given the horrors we've faced, it's a type of forced maturity.

[parodeity]

ok i mean i was more counting like day to day normal experiences also
damn maribelle youre gloomy today
we should build a snowman

[troubadamsel]

I would actually not object to that today.