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I have no idea what to do with myself without him.
Just a few days and I feel completely helpless. I thought he was the one clinging, but I am the one who is clinging, right? But he is like this now and I do not even know how to take care of his pets while I wait.
I have fed them but what else do these chicken things need? Food, water, warmth... what else? Am I doing this right? I have no idea.
I hope he is normal again soon. I can't take this. Maybe my wish backfired. My bad luck again, I guess.
I have no idea what to do with myself without him.
Just a few days and I feel completely helpless. I thought he was the one clinging, but I am the one who is clinging, right? But he is like this now and I do not even know how to take care of his pets while I wait.
I have fed them but what else do these chicken things need? Food, water, warmth... what else? Am I doing this right? I have no idea.
I hope he is normal again soon. I can't take this. Maybe my wish backfired. My bad luck again, I guess.
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Okay.
to actioN!
If she doesn't see him outside, she'll go knock on the door.]
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His frown doesn't lighten when he greets her. He just regards her with a somber look before speaking. ]
You didn't need to come here so quickly, Kaoru. But, would you help me lead them out to the coop?
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[She really just wanted to hug him, but she knows how he is with sudden physical contact, so she just reaches out to touch his shoulder briefly.]
Sure! I'd love to help!
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Help me to keep them in line...
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[ He starts to shuffle along again, leaned a bit over to motions the birds forward with his hands. ]
It is around the side of the house. That way.
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[It's easy enough for her to keep the chickens in a neat(ish) line as they moved.]
They seem pretty happy. [Which is to say, he's probably doing fine.]
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[ They don't really have emotions like that, do they? He takes the comment too seriously as he ushers the birds forward towards the fence's gate. ]
Can you open it?
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[She nods because of course she can. A flick of her wrist is all it takes to unlatch and open the gate.]
Now let's get his girls back home~.
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[ He hasn't understood the breadth of either of these girls' powers yet, so anything is likely.
He watches her open the gate without even touching it. So her powers can be used for little things, too...
He nods and escorts the small flock into their pen. ]
Come on, come on... it's time for exercise...
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[Shiho is a girl of many skills.
She perches herself on the fence. It didn't matter how sturdy it was, since she was holding her own weight. She was as light as a feather sitting there.]
How long are they doing this for?
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[ He squints at her, taking her too seriously. Weirder things were known to happen.
Then he turns back to the birds as he shuts them in. ]
Mm, it is cold, so not too long, but I want to give them some time.
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[Anyone else and she'd give some bullshit answer but she answers him honestly.
Now that they're sitting here, watching the chickens in the yard, they have a moment, don't they?]
Everyone was afraid of my powers, growing up. Even I was scared of myself. I hated my powers back then. The first time I was glad I was born was the day I met Shiho and Aoi. They were so cute! [She smiled and it's warm, it's sincere, because the memory was a fond one but the circumstances around them weren't.] They were my entire world and it didn't matter what happened to me as long as I could have the power to protect them. To the point where I was even willing to sacrifice others.
[It had hurt her to make those calls, those few times she had. But she hadn't known, at the time, how she could choose differently.]
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[ He goes quiet for a moment, but then she speaks with a tone that's shifted. She sounds so much more serious than usual so he stays silent and watches her. He's listening intently. ]
Hm... sometimes, that is the only way. The only way to save your 'world'. I would do that for my brother. I know I would.
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And it's not always the only way you know? Sometimes, we're just so scared to lose them that we can't think straight.
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[ He looks ahead and lets out a small, audible breath. ]
Do you think people like us are wrong, Kaoru? For feeling the way we do... acting the way we do. I know, if I were in your position, I would have done exactly the same.
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[She can't deny that...after all, protecting someone else...was in its own way selfish and willful. But that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.
...was it wrong? Something like that was a difficult question to answer. Because it's far morec complicated than that. Even so...]
No. I don't think so. But...it's true that these feelings, this way of seeing the world, definitely didn't come somewhere healthy.
People aren't meant to live alone. We want to be loved and love others...we need that kind of human connection. When we're denied that, when we're hurt or rejected by the world...isn't it natural, to cling onto the few people that give us that? That make us feel like...even for someone like us, there's someone who will hold our hand and not let go?
But...[She turns a little, reaches out to touch a hand to his cheek.] Because it comes from an unhealthy place, that way of thinking isn't good for us. When we say, 'I'd give up the world for this person. I'd sacrifice anyone and anything' isn't that just another way to keep rejecting the world and everyone else in it? Aren't we just afraid to put our trust into the people we care about in case they might leave us behind? If we keep doing that, then we won't just become unable to accept ourselves?
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He wants to be good. He wants to be a brother Dextera can rely on. He just doesn't know how.
Sinistra looks down at his feet when her hand touches his face. ]
Then what do we do? When it's like this, I feel so lost. He learned to live without me, but I have never lived without him. I try to tell him 'we are two people and always were', but when he's gone, I understand. It feels like my heart stopped beating. It feels like a part is missing and it aches. But, I know he can't fulfill that part of me, just like I cannot fulfill the part of him that feels missing.
I never really got to live, so I can't see what I need to do to be okay without him... I can't see it at all.
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All the same though.]
Just remember these things.
First, you need to remember that he's got a head start. Don't compare yourself with where he is because he's had more time to learn than you.
[She doesn't take her hand away. Instead, since he wasn't pulling away she presses her palm to his cheek.] And remember, you've already taken the first step. Deciding to become someone different, someone stronger, that's the most important step. Without it, you can't do anything at all.
And, remember: it's okay to feel lost. It's okay to feel like you don't know what you're doing and it's okay to make mistakes. Everyday we spend living, every time we meet someone new or try something different, we're growing. It may not seem like much at first, but day by day, by continuing to struggle we slowly become someone different.
Look! [She only takes her hand back to gesture at the chickens.] When you first came here...you wouldn't have known how to take care of them, right? Isn't that already a move towards becoming someone who can take care of others? And you're sitting here listening to me talk...and telling me all these things that upset you, that you're unsure about...is that really something the old you would be able to do?
Maybe neither of us are where we want to be yet...but we'll get there. I'm sure of it.