Aug. 22nd, 2018

#33CCFF

Aug. 22nd, 2018 12:18 am
underworldpianist: (saeki2)
[personal profile] underworldpianist
( color )

I think it's finally hit me, how long I might be here. How long I might be away from everyone.

I don't remember any time before that I've felt... I suppose 'lonely' is the best way to describe it. The feeling isn't unfamiliar, but until now, it'd been so distant in my heart that I couldn't remember it.

I've been with my friends, my comrades, for a few human centuries now. I don't know how just a few months here feels even longer than that. I'm at a loss, especially without him to watch out for. I find myself waiting for him sometimes in the morning, thinking he'll show up, hungry and sleepy-eyed, but he's not here. It's better he's not when there's always so much work to do, really, but I guess I never thought any of us would be apart.

Death can't separate us, after all. I'm surprised anything was powerful or manipulative enough to keep them from finding a way here.

I guess I wonder how other people are coping with it. How you deal with not being around the person or people you've centered your life around and love so dearly. I don't think I comprehend those feelings as well as a human would, but it'd be nice to just talk about those feelings together.

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