USER: #E00707 - insert an ominous fairy tale title here

[parodeity]

[ USER: #E00707 in this lovely color ]

so hey we never discussed how a magical hen would induce feelings of romance
like how technicolor is this bird
could you hold it up so it could be a discoball
i guess id fall shades over heels for that kind of chick
youd think thered be more magical rainbow bird weathercocks around if that were a huge thing here though
i want a magical rainbow bird weathercock
also i think the forest is against us looking for a disco bird
because the forest is antidiscobirds
which is oppression tbqh
i am being oppressed by a bunch of dickass trees
which is BULLSHIT
but also pretty much par for the course

anyway waiting for quest day and the new month to come is so oldschool
so
i am officially opening quests up for business
thats right mr f you aint the only one who can assign vagueass poetical quests with random requirements

quest fuck you forest and your disco bird oppression:
find the sacred discochick
dancing queen of only seventeen
or whatever that is in bird years
requirements: hopping dance music

quest im bored and you should all entertain me:
tell the coolkid a fairy tale of your own creation
(authors note dirk isnt the coolkid)
(some offense dirk)
requirements: the ability to string words together to form sentences

quest usually we have to fight something:
i made a scarecrow and put it up in the garden
go defeat it in honorable combat
requirements: no sense of shame

quest something something feelings quest:
hug a tree
maybe if we hug enough forest trees
the forest will stop being a little bitch about us wandering inside
requirements: touching mood music

anyway if you complete one of my clearly superior quests you can go to the garden to get a prize
were on the honor system here folks
dont take shit you dont earn
or do im not the boss of anyone

ps if anyone figures out a way to get or make more film for cameras on the regular
hmu
peace out

pps the forest thing was john and i kept getting bounced back when we went to maybe consider finding this awesome discobird
and eventually went well fine fuck you too
after like
three attempts

ppps is there an upper limit to how many postscripts you can put on something im not even sure

Comments

[parodeity]

as bloody as oldschool fairy tales
so like
extremely

[parodeity]

maybe it lays golden eggs
isnt that a fairy tale thing

also shit yeah lets play some aerosmith
you thinking the armageddon song

[parodeity]

im not trying to jinx you i like you
although
looking at it i can see why you think that yeah

anyway yes
it is all chromalicious

[parodeity]

for some reason i grew up mostly learning the former
but my sister has always been good at the latter

[parodeity]

and it wasnt like it was an easy no since it was a legitimate reason to need them all and not just simple greed
did they try to go talk to satori

[whichcraft]

I mean it's a double-edged sword? Pun intended.

It's a good skill to have, super useful, right up until the dude whips out a broadsword and then all of a sudden talking doesn't do you a shit lot of good anymore.

[withwisdom]

No. Satori is a solitary Lord. He rarely makes appearance in the mortal realm. Unfortunately this was not an option for the boys.

Despite the pleas of the village head, the older brother refused to give him anymore than half the apples. To anger Satori would send a cursed omen upon their heads, as the Lord of the Mountain had watched over them for so many years. The village head relented, knowing that something was better than nothing, and gave them the money in exchange for half the harvest. The older brother felt a great deal of guilt, but knew it was wiser to not anger the higher beings.

However, the younger brother could not abide by the decision. Though he respected the spirits, he did not believe in the same obedience to them if it meant ignoring people in need. When night fell, he went to the grove alone to pick the remaining apples. By dawn he was finished and went down to the village to deliver the bounty. He told the village head that his older brother had reconsidered his decision, and sent him to deliver the rest. The head thanked him greatly for the kindness, even offering to give more rupees, but the younger brother refused.

[passio]

I just love her. She’s very soft.

#BD1864

[robosmith]

[ he could take such mock-offense, but no. he's going to be mature about this. ]

No offense taken.
You can be the coolkid. I'm not even gonna contest that.
After all, it would be quite a downgrade.
Seeing as I'm the Coolest Kid already.
So you can keep that title.
Rad quests though.

[ SO MATURE. ]

[robosmith]

Thanks for the rad avian-themed story.
And thanks to my ever so generous bro for being willing to share.
Here's a prize on my behalf because art begets ironically badly drawn art and all that.

[messianic]

It's very chromalicious.

[Why are they like this.]

Either way, it's a deal. I'll pester you before I do anything with it. And I guess I'll try to complete one of your quests too.

[troubadamsel]

I admit, I never thought I'd see the day. Time makes for odd situations.

[retrobeats]

i think so yeah
but i also think that was a goose
also here's a thought: you think maybe it's BECAUSE it's so flamboyantly technicolor that there're no magical bird weathercocks around?

naturally!!
actually we could just do a whole playlist of 90s power ballads

[whichcraft]

Well, shit. Now all I need is a monk to inscribe it on some vellum with a gigantic first letter and I've got it made, baby, story and illustration and all.

[good_ideas]

Then let me tell you the story of the Tani-ogre and princess Naomi
Long long ago in a land far away there lived a gross old ogre who thought that raising a girl up to be his ideal woman was something normal that people did
The girl he chose was a princess named Naomi and for a very long time she was the perfect girl in Tani-ogre’s eyes
Smart
Courteous
Cute
Polite
And she never said anything even when he was being super gross and disgusting
Until one day she fell very ill and no one in the land knew what to do
Tani-ogre was in deep denial because of course his perfect woman could never fall ill like that and still princess Naomi said nothing and stayed quiet in her own room

Then!!
Three cute fairies appeared in the night, asking princess Naomi why she had suddenly begun to feel ill and whether or not there was something they could do for someone so cute and so polite and who never said anything despite the fact that her caretaker definitely had weird gross ideas for her

It was only then that princess Naomi realized what was making her ill
It was Tani-ogre so she beat him into a pulpy mess, spread rumours about him on the internet, emptied his bank account and burned down his house
Then she lived happily ever after
The end

#F0E68C

[tenthousandmiles]

hmm
i know a few stories
was there anything in particular you're looking for?

[crowsigliere]

A designated dummy outside of the gardens would still make for a more appropriate target, if you ask me. A scarecrow's job is to fend off unwanted pests. Not to be destroyed on a whim.

Not to mention the danger you're placing the garden itself in! We aren't in the company of the most graceful individuals, let alone the brightest. I've already seen one mention of fire--the whole district could very well be burned down by the week's end.

[parodeity]

im partial to adventure stories
with explosions

[parodeity]

wow hey
no
we have to rap it out to see who gets the est
i refuse to give it to you for free???
strider off lets go

[parodeity]

hm
i cant comprehend that like why would you turn down the chance to be flamboyantly technicolor
does not computer

i wish my life was set to a playlist of 90s power ballads honestly
everyone should wish for that

[parodeity]

what rumours did she spread on the internet

[parodeity]

its the power of friendship
it creates miracles sometimes

[parodeity]

you should get a portrait of the two of you done

[parodeity]

chill dude
its off to the side away from anything too important

[parodeity]

which one are you gonna go for
i know its hard to pick when so many of them are awesome