USER: #E00707 - insert an ominous fairy tale title here

[parodeity]

[ USER: #E00707 in this lovely color ]

so hey we never discussed how a magical hen would induce feelings of romance
like how technicolor is this bird
could you hold it up so it could be a discoball
i guess id fall shades over heels for that kind of chick
youd think thered be more magical rainbow bird weathercocks around if that were a huge thing here though
i want a magical rainbow bird weathercock
also i think the forest is against us looking for a disco bird
because the forest is antidiscobirds
which is oppression tbqh
i am being oppressed by a bunch of dickass trees
which is BULLSHIT
but also pretty much par for the course

anyway waiting for quest day and the new month to come is so oldschool
so
i am officially opening quests up for business
thats right mr f you aint the only one who can assign vagueass poetical quests with random requirements

quest fuck you forest and your disco bird oppression:
find the sacred discochick
dancing queen of only seventeen
or whatever that is in bird years
requirements: hopping dance music

quest im bored and you should all entertain me:
tell the coolkid a fairy tale of your own creation
(authors note dirk isnt the coolkid)
(some offense dirk)
requirements: the ability to string words together to form sentences

quest usually we have to fight something:
i made a scarecrow and put it up in the garden
go defeat it in honorable combat
requirements: no sense of shame

quest something something feelings quest:
hug a tree
maybe if we hug enough forest trees
the forest will stop being a little bitch about us wandering inside
requirements: touching mood music

anyway if you complete one of my clearly superior quests you can go to the garden to get a prize
were on the honor system here folks
dont take shit you dont earn
or do im not the boss of anyone

ps if anyone figures out a way to get or make more film for cameras on the regular
hmu
peace out

pps the forest thing was john and i kept getting bounced back when we went to maybe consider finding this awesome discobird
and eventually went well fine fuck you too
after like
three attempts

ppps is there an upper limit to how many postscripts you can put on something im not even sure

Comments

#03B2F7

[withwisdom]

(color)

Is there any requirements for what the story must be about?

-Zelda

[ she feels this post far too hard. ]

[parodeity]

[ when will chroma get television!!! (never) ]

i am partial to stories about boys in red with stellar shades who go on adventures
but hm
the requirement is
there has to be a lesson
people dont have to learn it maybe but it has to exist there to at least be ignored
thats a fairy tale thing right

oh also
someone has to eat an apple
because that is also a thing
and i have an apple

1/2

[withwisdom]

Very well. Allow me a few minutes.

[ hm hm hmm... ]

[withwisdom]

Once upon a time there was a young boy with stellar shades, who lived in an isolated cabin on a mountain plateau. He lived with his older brother - their parents had passed away when they were young - and not far from the cabin was a grove of apple trees. However these were no ordinary apple trees. They were blessed by the Lord of the Mountain, Satori, to have eternal bounty. In hot waves, or cold snow, the trees would still bear fruit every month.

The two boys would always harvest the apples, leaving half for themselves and offering the other half to Satori as thanks for his blessings. This was a silent deal arranged between the two. So long as the boys would make their offerings, Satori would continue to bless the grove of trees to always be bountiful.

[parodeity]

did they stick to the deal or is this where they got greedy

[withwisdom]

I wonder.

[ and then another long pause as she writes out the next block: ]

One day, the head of the village resting below the mountain climbed up to the plateau to speak with the boys. The man wanted to make a deal with the boys. He would pay them a significant sum of rupees in exchange for all the apples in the grove for the month. It was a very generous amount, far greater than the cost of all those apples would ever realistically be.

The older brother said he could only give half the apples to the village head, knowing full well Satori would request the other half as part of their deal. However the village head could not abide by the reduction. He explained that a drought during the hot season had caused many of the crops to die before harvest time. The head had gone to other villages to request food, but everyone was suffering the same and no one could make deals. The apple trees blessed by Satori to never wither was his only chance at keeping his village fed for the winter.

As you can see, this was quite the dilemma for the boys. They knew Satori would be upset if they did not give their offerings to him, but the village head had a desperate need for the apples.

[parodeity]

and it wasnt like it was an easy no since it was a legitimate reason to need them all and not just simple greed
did they try to go talk to satori

[withwisdom]

No. Satori is a solitary Lord. He rarely makes appearance in the mortal realm. Unfortunately this was not an option for the boys.

Despite the pleas of the village head, the older brother refused to give him anymore than half the apples. To anger Satori would send a cursed omen upon their heads, as the Lord of the Mountain had watched over them for so many years. The village head relented, knowing that something was better than nothing, and gave them the money in exchange for half the harvest. The older brother felt a great deal of guilt, but knew it was wiser to not anger the higher beings.

However, the younger brother could not abide by the decision. Though he respected the spirits, he did not believe in the same obedience to them if it meant ignoring people in need. When night fell, he went to the grove alone to pick the remaining apples. By dawn he was finished and went down to the village to deliver the bounty. He told the village head that his older brother had reconsidered his decision, and sent him to deliver the rest. The head thanked him greatly for the kindness, even offering to give more rupees, but the younger brother refused.

[parodeity]

brotherly discord
shit hope they make up

[withwisdom]

He was quite upset when he woke up to find all the apples leftover had been taken. To make matters worse, Satori was scheduled to appear on the peak of the mountain that very evening. However, the brothers had made up a plan of action. One they could only pray would work in their favor.

When night came came and the moon rose, a brilliant pale blue light began to shine from the top of the mountains. This was the signature sign of Satori's arrival to the mortal realm, and the cue for the brothers to meet him. Though there was fear in their hearts for what Satori could do, they still went up to meet him.

There at the peak to meet them was Satori. A giant stag of ethereal pale blue, with golden laurels for horns, a thick bearded mane that covered most of its face, and four orange eyes that stared into the wild. The Lord of the Mountain addressed them: "Present your offering to me."

The brothers looked at each other, unsure if their plan would work, but nevertheless the younger brother approached. Before Satori he set down the bag of rupees that the village head had given him.

"Satori," the younger brother spoke "I'm sorry, but there are no apples to give you this month. The head of the village that rests below your mountain were in desperate need of food after the hot season killed their crops. My brother gave them half the harvest and wanted to save your half for the offering, but I took the apples and brought them to the village.

I know these coins mean nothing to you, but they are all we have left to give."

[parodeity]

i probably would have jumped straight to offering myself really

[withwisdom]

You are very much that type.

[ but now it's time to wrap the story up-- ]

Satori looked to the gold and then to the boys. For a moment that lasted an eternity there was not a sound in the world. As though time had frozen over. Then a brilliant blue glow overtook the bag. When it faded, the bag deflated as if all the rupees had disappeared. Satori told the brothers to open the bag - when they did, several seeds were inside.

Satori spoke. "From this day onward, our arrangement has changed. Go down to the village below the mountain and plant these seeds. Every month they will grow a bounty of apples, enough to feed all the hungry.

In exchange, the grove beside your home will wither and die. If you value the prosperity of the village over your worship of me, then go with grace. Noble intentions must be seen through to the end."

[parodeity]

so satori was basically a bro and told them to maybe move their asses down to the village

[withwisdom]

[ snort. ]

You enjoy questioning the nature of fables a lot, don't you?

[ not that she minds - this one is just partly made up anyway. ]

The brothers went to the village and showed the village head the seeds, telling him of Satori's request. Together they planted the seeds, and as promised the trees up the mountain withered away soon after. In turn, the newly planted trees grew practically overnight and apples fell from their branches at the end of the month.

And so a new offering was established. Every month the boys would receive a basket of fresh apples, and soon the quaint little village had enough apples to begin trading with other villages. The taste of the fruit was sublime, far more than the typical apple tree, and the village became famous for their signature fruit.

As for the brothers, they took on jobs in the village and helped it flourish throughout the years. And every month they would both take a single apple from their given basket and leave it to Lord of the Mountain, never forgetting his wisdom.

The End.

[parodeity]

i think you should professionally go into storytelling
youve earned five prizes

[withwisdom]

Five coveted no-prizes?

[parodeity]

youll have to fight people off for them obviously

[withwisdom]

Fight them off in a duel of paper and quills? Doesn't sound hard.

[parodeity]

or paper rock scissors

[withwisdom]

If that's what it takes to win the grand prize of nothing, then I accept.

[parodeity]

honestly though thanks
for the story
i did appreciate it
and i genuinely think it was pretty damn good

[withwisdom]

You're very welcome. I hope it lifted your down spirits even the slightest.

Though the story is made up, Satori is a real deity spirit in my homeland. The grove I mentioned is actually not far from where he appears on the mountain top. Nobody knows for sure, but people speculate he loves apples and has his little helpers collect them for him.

[parodeity]

have you been to the grove before?

[withwisdom]

Once. There really were hundreds of apples atop all those trees!

I actually tried to wait for him to appear, to ask for guidance during difficult times. However he is very fickle about when he comes out, and never appeared before me. Not quite the clockwork schedule as in the story.

[parodeity]

maybe he was in an apple induced coma nap